Leaving ... and ... Returning
I’m thinking a lot about leaving at the moment. Life is peppered with ‘leavings’. Leaving home, leaving a relationship, leaving a job, and eventually leaving this life. Often when we leave someone or something, it is temporary and we return. Sometimes, leaving may appear more permanent. But is it? I’m reminded of that old 1960’s saying, “What goes around comes around”.
All this pondering on ‘leaving’ is being triggered because I am getting ready to leave home again, this time for a couple of months. I love to travel so I am familiar with the routine of getting ready to leave home. I like to have the bills paid, bank accounts balanced, the will updated, the car serviced and my itinerary on the refrigerator.
Leaving things just as I’d like to find them on my return has always been my way, even if I’m not planning on returning. For example, every time I’ve left a job, I worked up until the last hour making sure that everything was in order for whoever was going to follow in my footsteps. I left the files and desk in the shape I’d like to walk in and find it, if I was the person starting a new job. It just seems like the loving thing to do for another but truthfully it is also the loving thing to do for me. I couldn’t live with myself if I got sloppy at the end of a job!
When I leave, whether for a short holiday or a long-extended time away from home, I like to leave the house clean and orderly. Even if I don’t have time to wash and dry the bed linen on the day of departure, one of the things I do on the last morning is strip the bed sheets, putting fresh sheets on the bed, waiting for my return.
On a daily basis, I practise this ritual (of leaving things as I’d like to find them on my return). It’s just a matter of time management, allowing time to get the dishes done and straightening up the house before I leave for the day. That way every time I come home, it is a fresh start in repose rather than having to deal with unfinished projects or a mess from before.
In the lead up to travelling away from home, I often I have thoughts of “What if I don’t return?” Not in a morbid or fearful sense of not returning but just in the practicality of that. Chances of dying in a plane crash are drastically smaller than dying in a car crash going to the corner store! But then, when travelling you never know when you are going to fall off a mountain or get kicked by a camel. So, I like to be ready!
Now at age 68, there is a part of me that is always preparing for the BIG Leaving – the one where we leave the body. When I leave this body, I want to leave everything in order so that I don’t have to come back and deal with any disorder because I didn’t take the time or make the effort to complete things while I was here. Since we never know, for sure, when the Big Leaving is going to pull up and invite us aboard, I’m choosing to live ready for whatever may come next.
Now for some people who aren’t used to this level of orderliness, my suggestion of leaving things in tidy condition may sound like a lot of work or a burden. But that’s the point, it isn’t. It actually makes life effortless and makes ‘leaving’ light and easy. Practised on a daily basis, it just becomes part of your rhythm.
Yes, the idea that I might have to come back to unfinished business from this lifetime implies that there is re-incarnation. Not everyone reading this will ‘believe in’ reincarnation but it is the only thing that makes sense to me in the big scheme of things. I don’t fall into any of the traditional religions that believe in reincarnation but instead, it is my considered position. The possibility, even if you can’t go as far as considering it a reality, gives one reason to be responsible for their every thought, word and deed. It all leaves an imprint. Is it a loving imprint – or not?
My upcoming trip begins in Egypt, where it is well-known that the Egyptians have / had a strong belief in the afterlife to such an extent that they built and maintained elaborate tombs for their revered priests and priestesses laden with wealth and objects that they wanted in their afterlife. That part I do not get! But it was the belief in ancient times. My variation on it is that we will be taking nothing with us except a record of the energetic imprints we have made during this lifetime. The energetic imprints that we leave behind are all we need or will have in the afterlife; the imprints will determine our future pathway.
In preparation for spending time at The Great Pyramids, I watched a 5-part documentary called The Pyramid Code (available only on Netflix.) In summary, this documentary raises questions about the purpose of the pyramids, challenges the story traditional Egyptology tells, provides evidence that the ancient Egyptians used high-level technology to construct pyramids and temples, shows how deciphering the meaning of strange symbols in Egyptian art gives insight into the ancients’ knowledge of sacred cosmology and carefully considers cycles of time through Plato’s Great Year providing a new chronology that illuminates ancient Egypt.
The Pyramid Code reveals a totally different version of Egyptology than we were taught in school. How were we, as a race of people in ancient Egypt, so much further advanced than we are now? What happened? I definitely have more questions than answers. However, the great gift that I received from this documentary was a settlement within myself about Leaving…and…Returning. We are here. We leave. We return.
It is clear that the pyramids and other monuments in ancient Egypt were built in alignment to the sun, moon and stars. Perhaps the builders of the pyramids were leaving markers for humanity so we would know where we came from. Is it possible that we came from the stars? And that we will return to the stars? Something remarkable was taking place when the pyramids were built. How were they able to build monuments that align to the movements of the cosmos?
Perhaps this is why we feel or often think of Heaven and God as being ‘above’ us. Deep in our subconscious we remember where we came from. We remember leaving…and… know we will return.
So, even for those who can’t abide the prospect of re-incarnating, and are able to discount any knowing you may have of previous experiences or lifetimes, just imagine if it were true. Would it change anything for you? Would you live differently? Would you leave differently? Would you want to return to what you’ve left behind?
23/9/2019 11:39:10 am
I could really get a feeling of your 'orderliness Gayle' - and I love it! It feels so very supportive, not just in those times you are leaving for a trip but in every day of our lives, when we actually do a lot of leaving - even from one part of the house to another. I too have been pondering a lot on my final leaving from this life and in so doing making sure that I don't leave a mess for my family to deal with and me to come back to. Yes, for me too, returning makes so much sense of life.
23/9/2019 08:59:28 pm
Hello Ingrid - I'm delighted to hear that I'm not the only one who feels this way - about the importance of leaving things in good order. I think you are one up on me though when you mentioned how you leave things even from one part of the house to another. haha But now you've got me looking at that!
23/9/2019 08:41:59 pm
Would I leave differently? I love this question. It feels to me that every leaving is as significant as the next and reminds me of an old Sufi saying “die before you die”. Leaving in the knowing that all is complete and that the space is there to return to uncomplicated by remnants of the past. I, too, always like to leave things as I’d prefer to find them yet there is no perfection in this but a rhythm steadily built over time, lifetimes in fact. We reincarnate in every moment if we approach living and leaving this way. What a beautiful way to live it is....truly responsible for all that we leave behind us.
23/9/2019 09:04:46 pm
Thanks for your comments Peta. That old saying 'die before you die' reminded me of a course I took about 20 years ago called 'Six Months to Live'....it ran for six months and we did a lot of letting go during that time. I hadn't made the connection til just now but it probably seeded my 'readiness' and desire to leave things tidy.
24/9/2019 07:56:54 am
I love reading your blogs Gayle - they are so full of wisdom and yet very practical. I like to travel too and do similar things to you before leaving but I can definitely take on your suggestion about leaving things in order at home and do more completion on a daily basis.
28/9/2019 01:29:07 am
Thanks for taking the time to comment Glenys. I appreciate the confirmation that sharing my Livingness is meaningful for others.
25/9/2019 06:55:09 pm
Please come and leave anytime at my place! Your Minnesota wedding table set is still here for a little alfresco luncheon or dinner under the stars 🌟
28/9/2019 01:33:24 am
Hello! Funny how we bonded over the selling and buying of my old furniture. It looks like you've moved to an amazing place and I'm happy knowing that old table and chairs has such a beautiful home. BTW - it came from Montana, Rocky Mountain High.
25/9/2019 09:20:50 pm
This makes so much sense to me, Gayle! I also do this every day as part of my rhythm. Making my bed every morning and tidying the house has become a ritual. It really isn’t a chore, but something that truly supports me. I always change the sheets before I go away so I have a lovely fresh bed to come home to. I too have those practical thoughts - what if I mightn’t return? How would I like to leave my space? How would I like someone else to find my space? This blog is confirmation for me that leaving and returning is not only part of everyday life but that these little things we do as part of our rhythm are preparing us for the ‘bigger’ things, and the BIG leaving/returning! Thanks Gayle.
28/9/2019 01:43:29 am
Thank you for your comments Linda. I love hearing from others whose views and practices are similar. Its easy to get caught in the illusion that we are all separate individuals, just doing their own thing and then we find out we are more alike than not!
30/9/2019 05:54:47 pm
I love to read your blog this morning Gayle as I am very similar in how I like to leave things in order knowing that it is this order that I return to! And a great example of this was when I was moving from Holland back to Scotland. For 6 months before moving, I had so much clarity around the importance of preparation and organisation and finalising everything. Ensuring all domestic bills were paid and those accounts closed. Giving sufficient notice to work and landlord. Selling items of furniture or to the charity shop. Plus I used the opportunity to do a massive clear out... I let go of so much, I was brutal and that felt great. Here's the thing, all the prep, all the organisation and clearing and cleaning paid off, in terms of all the space I had created for the new to enter. When I arrived in Scotland, everything that I needed to support me, like a new job, a car ( for work), friends, this all just flowed to me without any effort on my part, there were 3 jobs I could choose from!
3/10/2019 05:50:43 pm
Your comment will be posted after it is approved.
Leave a Reply.
Gayle Cue loves writing about life, reflecting on every day miracles and pondering on the big picture.
Subscribe to receive latest blogs and updates.